January 2012
12 posts
Give me enough to bear tomorrow.
Listen
I keep telling myself this cannot be real. Things like this don’t happen, especially to people like you. I’m almost bitter. Bitter that you could leave all of us so early and so easily. We were barely starting out in life. We’re so young, all of us, and we’re still searching for answers. What ran through your mind? It scares me to ponder all the possibilities. I can’t find it in myself to believe...
I am doing everything in my ability to distract myself from reality. I’m not ready to register anything yet. I need some time. A lot of it. Maybe someday, I won’t be as confused as I am now.
This can’t be real.
“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to serve as a...”
– Catherine Aird
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Insane how people and company who I’ve once felt so at home with can feel so strange to me now. I don’t mean that they are completely foreign concepts altogether, I just think that it’s amazing what a little time apart can do. Sure, the warmth is still there, and the laughter finds ways to come through. But it’s different now. At times, we can pick up right where we left...
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Words flow in and out of ears as faces swim in front of blinking eyes conversations turn from one thing to another to compensate for the lack of interest that leave us tongue-tied. See, familiar company has never seemed more lonely than when we turn away and gaze at the ground in a unconscious attempt to drown out the voices that once served as our most comforting sounds. But believe me when I...
Day 10: Anything you wish to say to end 2011/start...
Hey 2012. So I basically just welcomed you by staying at home all day by myself. Somehow, this routine seems oddly familiar. The best part was watching the Once Upon A Time marathon on ABC7. Other than that, I don’t see how this day differs from any other one. But welcome anyways (: I do, however, look forward to everything you have to offer… or don’t, in today’s case.
December 2011
31 posts
Day 9: What are you looking forward to in 2012?
I’m looking forward to all the unexpected adventures, the times spent with friends, the rare and precious feelings of accomplishment from school… haha, and all the little things in between. Honestly, I don’t even know. I don’t know what to expect, and I don’t really know what to look forward to (besides all the typical good stuff). I’ll just let everything...
A normal conversation with my brother.
“Did you ever take a look at your butt hole? I did, when I was like ten. I took a look in the mirror one time. It was kind of purple, kind of dark, … and brown. It wasn’t pretty.”
Day 8: Things you hope for in 2012.
Determination in school.
Perseverance in school.
Dedication to school.
Endurance in school.
Time here and there to spend with friends.
Patience in as much as possible, if not everything.
A job.
Time management skills.
The inspiration to keep writing.
Quality time on the sides to pick up a few books and see them through.
Family empathy.
Learn how to drive. (If not, busing is fine...
No matter what the interaction, be it honest or deceptive, communication seems lost in the array of words that we throw out in the air for the sake of saying them aloud… or lack thereof. Silence is golden? It just might be. Those words that go unsaid are two things all at once, comforting but conflicting. Vice versa. To speak or not to speak? To verbalize and accentuate these thoughts or...
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Such Is Life — Oddisee
Day 7: 10 things you want to say 10 people.
1. Even though your choices might not have been what I had in mind with the expectations I held of you, I’m glad nonetheless. Despite everything, you’ve stayed true to yourself all along, and that alone is admirable.
2. You know, I was considerably happy when I heard of the ending. You invested so much time and effort into someone I already knew was going to break your heart in the end. Granted, I...
If we were really conscious about the things we do, would we do it? If we were conscious of the things we do to this world, would we still? If we were exceptionally conscious about the things we do to not only ourselves, but to each other, would we bring ourselves nevertheless? And it’s unfortunate to think that yes, we still would. Humans are such complex beings, with complex minds that are...
Day 6: Any words of wisdom/advice for anyone?
Don’t drink and drive. Haha, I don’t know. Honestly, all I can think of is how to value time now. There’s nothing else that comes to mind as more prompting than this notion anymore. (I know, I should stop all this sappy reminiscent nonsense before I lose my sanity.) Take your time kids, take your time. Don’t rush too much. We’re young and we’re reckless? Sounds about right… but wow, time...
Day 5: Describe an adventure you had this year.
This may not sound like much of an adventure, but I’m just going to reminisce on my first day of volunteering at Sunflower Gardens Assisting Living Center. I was expecting a few elderly people here or there, wandering around or helping themselves to whatever they may please. Instead, I walked into a room filled with elderly. Most of them were incapable of walking, and only a few of them shuffled...
Day 4: Something you’ve learned this year.
I’ve learned that I need to treasure little things more than anything else and ever before. I feel like time only gives me so much from its hands now, and I can barely grab a handful for myself before it signals the cue to speed forward. I realize how true that saying goes now, that everything looks and feel the same each day, but when you look back, things are incredibly different. I need to...
Day 3: A person who has impacted your life in some...
My ROP teacher, Mrs. Tapia. She was the sweetest person I’ve met in a long time. I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been so engrossed in the same swarm of people every day during the school year that it was so unbelievably refreshing to see a genuine smile. Like, a genuine warm-your-heart-for-the-sake-of-warming-your-heart kind of smile. At the end of the day, be it slow or fast, I...
Day 2: How much have you changed overall in 2011?
(I’m going to cheat a little and do the first few quick status.)
Physically
Longer hair
Less acne
Brace-less teeth
Mentally
Less reckless
More considerate of consequences than ever before
A little too wary sometimes
Working on my impatience
Unwillingness to open up to strangers, or anyone I’ve only known for a short period of time (… my counseling teacher being a prime...
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in...
I’m just going to take into account several “memorable moments”:
Enrolling in an ROP class for the spring semester & getting to know wonderful people
Receiving certification for CPR
Celebrating Lynn’s birthday
Kiwin’s end of the year banquet
Graduation
Reuniting with Ning and Vincent over the summer
Getting my braces off
Gymming
Winning a gift card from...
2011 conclusion/ 2012 introduction Challenge
heckyeahtumblrchallenges:
You can talk about the topics in a video, just a text post or both! I think videos are best because it’ll capture the real emotion of the topic. You can make the videos/text post long or short, meaningful or not, it’s what you prefer.
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
Day 2: How much have you changed overall in 2011?
Day 3: A person who has...
Sometimes, I wish I could just put on another face. I want to be someone other than myself for a bit. Technically, the alteration of physical appearance won’t change who I really am, which goes to show that I’m clearly just playing around with imagination and wishful thinking. Wouldn’t it be nice though?
By claiming that they appreciate bluntness, some people also mean I-really-appreciate-your-honesty-but-let-it-also-be-known-that-I-will-remain-unfazed-by-your-expressed-opinion-by-writing-you-off-all-the-same. The irony. So many ears want to hear the truth, yet nearly all the truths fall on deaf ears.
Correction: I actually received an A in math! Which brings my gpa to a 3.462 :D Rounded, it would be 3.5, right? Hahaha. *Happy dance.
I came out of my first semester of college with a 3.3 … That’s without my B in Liberal Arts Math (since my math teacher hasn’t gotten around to inputting final grades). Of course, I always tell myself, you could have done better. You should have done better. Nevertheless, coming out of a first semester coma-like period of my life, I feel like my sigh of relief is permissible,...
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We're growing up. It's the only way we can go now....
Although the majority of life seems to be focused on moving forward, there have been so many occasions lately where I’ve been wanting to stop the hands of time. Everything is going by so fast. All the faces I see and all the places I go, they’ve all just become one big motion blur. So many times, I’ve wished I could just put my hands up in a stop signal and make everything stand...
Beats to the spirit of Christmas.
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The efforts you’ve applied are halfhearted, and the excuses that come along with it are only lines that emphasize my understanding of having already heard it. Your alibis? I have heard it. And in the middle of this argument, we’ve reached a breaking point because instead of making (reach)able/(read)able/reasonable approaches, we’re flipping coins. Trying to obtain a side that...
I have the urge to drastically transform myself. Physically and mentally. Since life is all about change nowadays, why not accommodate to that? Honestly, I’m tired of being the same person, doing the same things, seeing the same routinely stuff day in and day out. Everything is getting so tedious. The days go by fast, but when I look at it closer, there’s nothing that can be seriously...
Free Fashion Show panty, plus twenty dollars worth in gift card value. ‘Tis a good week and day.
Last minute procrastination. It’s like handing yourself over to a death sentence.
November 2011
13 posts
“We have psychologized like the insane, who make their insanity greater by...”
– Charles Baudelaire
Thank You — Tsutchie
What is it that lures us in, like sirens that call out to sailors. How do we allow ourselves to fall victim to their decoys, and never admit ourselves the failure?
I reminisce too much. And I wonder, if I do happen to become well off in several years, will I come back to my hometown like they do in movies, and drive around in a car visiting all the places I spent my childhood at? Will I sit in my car gazing out at the elementary school I used to run around in, or pop into the classrooms I once was so familiar with? Will I see faces that I’ll recognize,...
The days just keep flying by.
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Some say we are the change we hope to see. But how do we acquire that when we are the ones chained to impossibility? And by that, I mean tied down by upper “authority”. How do we begin to be the change when we’re cuffed with chains to prevent us from performing at our utmost potency? Should we have (chain)ged ourselves to accommodate the fluidity, or is our two cents not even...